The Writing of Amanda Hatton

Tag Archives: love

Its funny thinking that I used to love you.

I used to think I could marry you,

I used to imagine our children

I used to imagine us growing old together.

That’s almost laughable now.

Well,

That you could ever love me that way.

I’m well aware you love me

But I’m equally aware that you will never have a burning passion for me.

So no,

I couldn’t marry you for love.

Not you.

We’re all too similar

And all too different

To ever marry seriously.

We’d tear each other apart with our broken hearts.

Too self indulged in the pains of the past

And the mistakes we’re still making.

We’re both too dark

And all too self centered

For a marriage based on love.

But the past few years have changed me.

I don’t love you like that anymore

But I do still love you.

So for you?

You, I could do a marriage of convenience for.

Give up my life to make yours better.

No delusions of romance

Or that you ever really loved me that way

But for your health

For your sanity

To keep you from the claws attached to the ends of your own fingers

I would marry you.

For the sake of you.

You don’t realize this

But I may not want to kiss you anymore

But I love you deeper than I ever have before.

I want health for you

I want happiness for you

I want all of the good things in the whole wide world for you.

And if someday you need me?

Say your wife dies in a fiery car crash and you need someone to raise the three little ones she left you with

Well I’ll be there.

I’ll slowly begin helping out.

I’ll watch the kids while you mourn at her casket.

I’ll go grocery shopping with you to keep the boys in line.

I’ll spend my Friday nights folding tiny little underwear.

Your kids will recognize me as joy

As sunshine that penetrates the darkness of her funeral shroud

And eventually I’ll just move in.

Because I know you well enough.

I know if you ever lost real love

You’d lose yourself.

So I’ll be there to help pick up the pieces.

I will never replace her

Never replace the wife you loved so dearly

But if you need me.

I’ll be there

Fresh pressed tea length white dress

And wrist length gloves.

Converse and a bow in my hair.

You wearing the suit you wore to the last wedding.

A marriage of convenience.

Because I love you.

I Love you well enough to know the darkness you could wallow in

I love you well enough to pull you out

I love you well enough to give up all the good things I could have

Just to see you smile.

So I don’t want to marry you anymore.

No more passion burns for you the way you swore it always did

No

That fire went out but the embers remain

Maybe not as bright as the fire

But just as warm.

I love you.

And that means

I’ll always be here.